A letter to my sweetie, sweetie

I am pretty sure alot of you know the drama I have been going through for the past year and a half. If not, its ok. It would take too much time to explain. But nonetheless, I wanted to write a letter to my son. Hoping that these new feelings of single parenthood can touch and relate to another single parent.

Dear Karter Ethan,

First of all, I love you so much. Every evening when you are sleeping and every morning before I wake you for school, I kiss you. I tell you i love you. I look you in your face and sometimes I break down into tears. Let me explain why. I have this hurtful feeling in my heart for you. I am sad because even though I tried my hardest, I couldn't make it work for your father and myself. It just didn't work. There is no need for an explanation until you feel the need to ask me. But at this point, I have given up on him. So that leaves me and you. Son, I have so much in store for you! And I am so excited about it. (tearing up again) Even though, you weren't a planned pregnancy, you still came into my life with a spectacular entrance and a positive outcome for the rest of my life. You gave me purpose and determination to figure my life out at 23 and to make sure I take care of you. I get nervous when you stray too far and I don't want you to spend the night with other family for more than 12 hours. lol (#firsttimemom) I want so much for you and I am going to work so hard for you. I see the potential and I see what you are capable of. From birth, that first week was so hard by myself. There was something Auntie Kaya said to me last night that made me think so hard....I've been your only source since birth. Regardless of the other things going on, I was still your only source. And that is what I will be until we separate.